So my son, Jordan Soumas , turns 21 tomorrow. So many thoughts run through a parent’s head when a child of theirs reaches a milestone age but this one is so very special because he’s the youngest of our children.
As your Dad I only want the very best for you Jordan. Just as the day of your birth changed my life forever, and your mother’s as well, so does this 21st birthday.
As the youngest of our children, there was less drama than Michael, our first and Alana, our first daughter. But, Jordan, what you brought was joy and excitement to your Mom and Dad from the day you were born. Not only the best smile but the best laugh and a joy for life that I some of you’d rub off on more people in this world.
Jojo, you will never know unless you have a son of your own like you, how much it meant to me and your Mom when we were in Mt. Sinai Hospital and she gave birth to you. I know my words read like a continuous recording, but you should never forget what your Mother had to grow through each time she gave birth to each of our children . She was never allowed to take, as most expectant Moms are allowed to, an epidural to ease the pain. As the warrior that she is, and why I’ll forever love and admire her as she lived through the most excruciating of pains to give birth each time . Through all the pain she still wanted to have more children. She is selfless to the end. All the coaching and support can never transfer the pain Mom went through but as you’ve gotten to know her over these past 21 years I am sure it does not surprise you. It is what has always defined her .
Fathers and sons sometime don’t always show their love for each other and as they get older sons find it uncomfortable to hug their Dad in public and we count on our children understanding in our heart how much we love them.
As to the future, I do not know of anything I could say to you more than I have previously said to you in our life together. I tried to pass on to you the ideals one should strive for. It is sure I have not been perfect, have made many mistakes and have not always been perfectly honest. As a boy you had to learn just the same as I did; a fractured family stinks and children do not know who or where to turn to and so they choose the person they live with most of the time.
Believe it or not, Jordan, you saw your Dad through some of the hardest times in his life and your love and support is the reason I am here today; there’s no doubt in my mind.
As you grow into the man you have become I do hope you keep your faith in your religion and live by the example your parents gave to you. It will probably change and reform and be remolded many times in your life. One thing is essential which I hope you already know. The golden rule of always try to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Have your belief whatever it maybe. Be true to yourself and your family.
Above all don’t be a hypocrite by professing one and living another, as so many men do today. Be true to yourself Jordan and you’ll be a value to the world. You’re a special soul and only good things will happen to you and for you in your life. There are nights I stay up. laying awake and replaying so many moments of your life Jordan. The first day of nursery school. The first day of kindergarten, riding the waves in at the Vineyard, the Haunted House at Universal and thousands and thousands of more. You made being a Dad so much fun Jordan.
We lost so much of our life together but I wanted to share a few thoughts and words that I never had a chance to tell you but words that you should live your life with. If I had listened to myself I can assure you my life and our life would’ve been different.
Never let the sun set on an argument: Marriage is a subject I have never had too much time to talk to you about as time just flew by Jordan. Now I don’t know if I shall ever have time to so I will cover some of it now. Probably most important is to remember there are two sides to everything. No marriage is smooth at all times. You will feel sometimes that you are doing all the giving and your wife is doing all the taking but at times like this if you will remember to give more, try to understand the other side also, you will come through most troubles OK.
Marriage, especially in the first few years is an adjustment in life for both partners but from the start try to get small misunderstandings out in the open and talk about them and then they go away. One last must: never go to sleep angry. Talk it out, kiss and make up before going to sleep. These words will provide a lifetime of value and happiness. I still do this day search for reasons why we, your Mom and I, could not work things out but I guess the words I share with you I did not live by myself. A marriage is what you make of it Jordan. Your Mom, Michelle, was my foundation, my life. I adored every single part of her and yet I failed in letting her know that and having her believe me.
God bless you Jordan.
I’ll never be able to hold you in my arms ever again as I once did. You’re no longer my little baby but you’ll always be my buddy.
I hope you have the most amazing life because when you think about it, for all you’ve done already, it’s really only first begun.
I love you my buddy and I always will, Love, Dad